went to the library and got more books..

Cheat & Charmer by Elizabeth Frank

it's supposed to snow, don't-ya-know,
and i can watch only so many rebroadcasts of
the L-Word

and i finally found the inspiration
for Laura Linney's hairstyle at this years Academy Awards.
the drag king car mechanic from the L-word look...
of course!

robin williams...at least he was funny.
i did not like chris rock.
meh.

and where are all the catty reviews
of the program?
seriously..am i the only one thought
yellow was a terrible coulour choice
for cate blanchett? with her ivory skin.

my kingdom for hilary swank's back.
damn.
that girl has shoulder blade muscles.
do you think her husband chad
is close to his brother rob?

you do realize that one day
there will be a bio done on hilary swank
and the actor who plays her
will probably win the oscar in 2055

it's the perfect oscar role
trailer trash rise to oscar starlet
and the opportunity to show off your back muscles

did i ever tell you about the time
i went sledding
with pat benetar?

was supposed to go see the band girlyman tonight
at Me & Thee Coffeehouse
in Marblehead

but the knee started swelling
and i thought...hmmm
perhaps it's not the wisest idea
to drive 2 hours each way through the snow
to go hear a band

god...when did i get so old?

so naturally i went to the library instead
and got
The Kite Runner

had to drive up to Loon to my physical therapy today
brought the boys in the truck
and made an afternoon out of it
only because i couldn't get INTO the spa at Loon.
i had the wrong code for the gate
and there were no signs directing me from the
parking lot to the spa
and the spa didn't have an elevator
and there were 4 flights of stairs

now 4 flights of stairs really isn't that bad

unless you have a freakin knee brace
that won't let you move

whimper

so i was watching Lost ...
(she begins every time)

was it just me, or did you get all teared up when Lin said Sun was his dream.
boy did things go downhill fast after that...

oooo...a bitch slap.
damn girl.
and remind me again where the neiman marcus is on the island?
'cause that sassy blue bikini was very nice

and the 1/2 handcuff bracelet Lin wears
...all the rage

i LOVE Lin's wedding waistcoat

um..who picks up all the golf balls?
probably the counter girls at the Lost island
neiman marcus during their off hours ?

dog alert: 8:11 no collar. no lead. no nothin'.
does neiman marcus sell dog food?
'cuz vincent is looking at bit...what is the word...overfed

sing with me now...
the raft, the raft, the raft is on fire
we don't need no water
let the mother f*ck*er burn
(for the youngsters in the audience)

come on...you KNOW you were singing it in your head

that was HURLEY on the tv that Secretary Han's daughter was watching
did you catch it?

(cute sharpei...seriously cute)

now let me get this straight
they know they aren't the only people on the island
and they've been kidnapped
and killed by the *others*
and they STILL didn't put anybody to guard the damn boat?

8:44 dog alert. free and clean

and how, pray tell, did all the twine
(and every thing else for that matter)
NOT burn in the original fiery crash
that left them stranded on this crazy island?
in fact..how was there even enough stuff left
to build with?

and doesn't bamboo produce a hemp rope twine thing
used to latch bamboo together?

8:55 - round fat happy dog. and backgammon.
and dry firewood in a rain forest

did you see THAT coming?
will burning the raft.
of course you did.
you are so clever.

an ax?
where in god's name did the ax come from?
neiman marcus does NOT sell axes.
i just checked their website

so the batteries are done.
fine.
and claire is what...19 months pregnant at this point?

RUN hurley RUN

thank you and good night

the article below is from the NY Times,
and is being used here completely without their permission.
mea culpa.
but it's so damn funny...and i didn't want to just email it to everyone...

With $3.50 and a Dream, the 'Anti-Christo' Is Born

By SARAH BOXER

Published: February 19, 2005

CAMBRIDGE, Mass., Feb. 18 - You've seen Christo's "Gates" in Central Park. But what about Hargo's "Gates" in Somerville, Mass.? Sure, Hargo is unabashedly riding on the coattails of Christo and Jeanne-Claude. But it did take him some time to make his gates: 0.002 years, he estimates. That's a good chunk of a day. You may as well take a look:
not-rocket-science.com/gates.htm.

Just who is Hargo? Is he some kind of genius wrapper? His name is Geoff Hargadon, he is 50 and, in a telephone interview, he would only say, enigmatically, "Art is not my profession." His last installation was a studio full of discarded ATM receipts. The show was called "Balance." It was about "people, privacy and money," he said, adding: "You want to know how much people have? Here it is."

Like Christo and Jeanne-Claude, Hargo used recyclable materials for "The Somerville Gates." Unlike them, he accepts donations to defray the cost of his installation, which was $3.50. The mayor of Somerville did not come to the unveiling, on Valentine's Day.

Does Hargo have a Jeanne-Claude at his side? His cat, Edie, is a redhead, like Jeanne-Claude, he said on the telephone. But his partner in art is his wife, Patricia La Valley. Together they installed "The Somerville Gates" at their home on Monday night, while watching the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show on television. They took pictures, posted them on a Web site and sent the link to 30 friends by e-mail. Within 24 hours, the site had 99,000 hits.

"The Somerville Gates" has now become, Mr. Hargadon said, "the anti-Christo."

Each saffron-colored gate that makes up "The Somerville Gates" is a 3.5-inch-high structure made of wooden dowels, cut-up roof shingles and clear corrugated plastic, all painted with orange tempera. (Hargo made 16 individual gates and moved them from room to room, following Edie's footsteps.)

On the Web site, the installation begins with the Door Gates, then moves on to the Poopatorium Gates, the Fridge Gates, the Table Gates, the Feeding Gates, the Tub Gates, the Fluffy Rug Gates, the Desk Gates, the Media Gates and finally the Stairway Gates.

There are some obscure parts to the installation, at least as it appears on the Web. You can't really see where you are when you approach the Poopatorium Gates. The sinuous path of the orange flags seems to run alongside a bed, or perhaps it is a hallway. What is that black thing looming in the distance? Where is the kitty litter?

A few passages of "The Somerville Gates" sound as if they're going to be repetitive. Did Hargo really need to have Fridge Gates, Feeding Gates and Table Gates? But if you spend some time on the site, you will see that each passage has its own aura. The Fridge Gates have an airy feel while the Feeding Gates have a finality to them, dead-ending at a blue bowl and a hungry cat. The Table Gates passage is ominous, with dark table and chair legs dwarfing the little orange structures.

For pure beauty and rhythm, you can't beat the Stairway Gates. But the Media Gates are the most suspenseful and loaded with meaning. At the tip of a V-shaped arrangement of orange gates sits a television screen. On the screen is a baleful looking dog. (He was one of the contestants in the Westminster dog show.) You can see Edie the cat looking over the gates and staring down the dog. The situation cries out for a mouse to run the gates' gantlet.

Mr. Hargadon said he had told his friends not to call him Geoff or Mr. Hargadon anymore. It is just Hargo. But he doesn't go for bombast. "I like the idea of 'The Gates,' but maybe something smaller, something more subtle." Something more like "The Somerville Gates."

"There are no invitations," Hargo says at the Web site. "There are no tickets."

"If anyone tries to sell you a ticket, do not buy it," he continues. "The Gates are not for sale. Neither is the cat."

"Signed photos, however," he writes, "are available directly from the artist in limited editions."

There is no wind blowing these gates, no matter what the weather. So you don't have to pick your viewing date. And the Web site will stay up for a long time. The Somerville installation itself, though, is ephemeral. It goes down when "the cleaning lady comes."

i know what it's like to be old.
and it scares me.

i say this because
when i'm walking around
with my sassy cane
thinking i'm flying down the aisles
i'll look back and realize there are
people behind me
trying to get past
all annoyed that i'm going too slow
and keeping them from their appointed mission

what must it be like to have your body fail?
where you can't go faster?
you can't make your body work?
you can't get out of bed
or lift yourself out of the tub?

well...jeremy mayfield didn't win Daytona either.
i was shocked. SHOCKED that my sister's husbands
hologram dressed as a polar bear would lead me astray
in a dream...

perhaps i should be looking for a busch series race
that is sponsored by a polar bear
ie, coca-cola? or polar seltzer?
anyone? anyone?

____________

gina just brought me the perfect banana.

it's an art to find one
the banana must not be mushy
although it may contain a black mark
as long as it's not a bruise
it has the faintest hints of green on the very edges
the moment the green fades away
you have 6 minutes before the banana gets
overripe.

mmmmmmmm....

last nights dream:

in a hotel room
my sisters *bag* started moving
a polar bear came out
took his head off and it was my sister's husband
but he looked like Anthony Edwards
he said he was a hologram
and didn't like working for Oprah
but he won this hologram...etc.

i asked him if he knew any winning lottery numbers
he said, "car 64"
i wrote it down on a piece of paper
actually i wrote 54 first, then changed the 5 to a 6
and i just looked at him..
*what, no lottery numbers?"

something, something...missed my flight
in nashville because it took off at 4:56
and it was already 5:26 and I was somewhere
near kansas city
and needed to drive a car to the airport

___________________

so this morning i got up
looked on line for *car 64*
and discovered that the Busch Series
Hershey's Take Five 300 is today
and Jeremy Mayfield is driving car 64.
odds 35-1.
so i bet $100 online on car 64

and it finished 21st.

well, my sister's husband
never liked me anyway....


oh, i also bet on syracuse to beat BC in men's hoop!

morphine, morphia, opium

first, the good stuff...

1) i was indifferent to pain.
to me, pain and hunger are very similar
you know how sometimes you aren't really hungry
and it's not quite dinner time
but you say, *i could eat*
but it doesn't really matter if you do.
you are hungry but you aren't starving.
pain on morphine is like that
you know there is pain, and you can feel it
but it just doesn't matter

so i would count that as a positive.

now let's look at the negatives...

1. morphine made me itch.
my head itched...terribly
my knee itched
my leg itched
and scratching didn't help
(like coughing when you have bronchitis)

2. morphine made me hot.
which could be a positive, i suppose, in winter.
i probably could have been rolled down the sidewalk
and melted the snow and ice.
poor gina was freezing to death
and could barely bend her elbows
she had on so many sweatshirts
and i just sat there in my t-shirt
scratching my head, and wondering if i was hungry or not

3. morphine made me constipated.
and let me just tell you
it ain't pretty
days go by and then your body says..
hmmm....we have a back-up in section 7...
and 20 minutes later you are getting out the plumber's helper plunger.
oy.

4. morphine produced VERY disturbing dreams.
oh sure...you sleep, which can be difficult
with bone pain and a constant motion machine
but then you have night sweats
and dream about evil lurking at the foot of the bed
and haunted houses
and elevators that go sideways
and walls that fall away
and cars with no brakes...

last night i dreamed that i was sorta on the Apprentice
(let's not even get started on that)
and was trying to find the car
after some sporting event in a stadium.
i lost the people i was following
(because of my leg i was having a hard time walking)
only to come out of the stadium
to find a booth set up with all sorts of Smith College
swag that they were selling everything for $1 each
because they were irregulars
so i bought a pair of shorts and 2 sleeveless t-shirts
(which is funny, because i don't even like sleeveless t-shirts)
and they had shoes and handbags, but i didn't want those
i walked around the kiosk with my cane
and when i got back around the front
there was no one to pay
so i gave a woman sitting next to the booth
(who was a college coach, don't ask me how i know, and she was talking to me the whole time.....)
5-6 honey coated peanuts (and a honey coated cashew)
as payments and told her to give it to the woman running the kiosk.

then got on a bike
(where the hell did the bike come from?)
and rode in the direction of what i thought was
the other parking lot
only to discover that i'm somehow on the back streets of BU
and my ace bandage has gotten wrapped up in the spokes of the bike
and as i'm trying to untangle it
my Mikimoto pearls get tangled up as well
(did i mention the Apprentice already)
so now my pearls have all scattered
into a room, which turns out to have a bed on the floor
and a very nice Asian woman and her son are helping me
gather up the pearls, which are dark grey
and i show her the receipt from Mikimoto
(it was just over $4,500 by the way)
and as i'm gathering up the loose pearls and such
and putting them in my shopping bag
with my Smith College swag
i keep finding more jewelry...
earrings and stones and such
and since i can't remember how many pearls were
on my necklace(s) i'm afraid to stop looking
lest i leave one pearl behind

the mother and son have disappeared
and i'm now picking earrings out of the
very fuzzy bedspread
and am thinking this is someone's dorm room
but it's next to a classroom...

then the phone rings
and i woke up.



did i mention i haven't had any drugs in
48 hours?

today, i am miss cranky pants.

only i'm wearing shorts.

had pt at 11:30
where i did 20 minutes on the bike
and then another 15 minutes of stim

I HATE stim!

one, it hurts like a bastard
and well, two...it hurts like a bastard

to recap: 6 days after acl surgery
my flex is 130 degrees
the bruising has begun to creep to the back of the knee
the bone pain is the worst
the left side of the knee has no feeling
(because they sever the nerve)
and the scar is going to be sexy as all heck

so i'm watching Lost

um...did these people never LIE when they played *I Never...*
crikey.
that's always the next to last question asked
after, *I've never had a crush on anybody in this room that I didn't tell them.*

and are boars furry?

didn't hurley have a different beard
when he was digging the grave
(at sunset...no less)
than when he asked Sayid about ptsd.
which by the way is not limited to, nor discovered in,
the Gulf War

ok..and who doesn't have dust bunnies under the bed?
hell, i couldn't even GET under my bed to hide
not that i have some boot wearin' killer after me, mind you
and why wouldn't the woman call the police
BEFORE she argued with the boy and then the killer

oh, and nice Red Sox comment...twice
(lame)
although i did like that sawyer called the docs father,
*your daddy*
in that southern way...

leash alert..at least the dog wasn't wearing his lead tonight
but where did they get the tennis ball?
and how well do you think tennis balls survive fiery airplane crashes?
as well as dogs, i suppose.

lipogram - A writing composed of words not having a certain letter or letters; -- [as in the Odyssey of Tryphiodorus there was no A in the first book, no B in the second, and so on.]

so now...

WttyGrrl: omit opium so not difficult
timmy: wow...
timmy: though it could work
WttyGrrl: but writing is going to suck
WttyGrrl: four so far
WttyGrrl: not bad
timmy: uh huh...you should try to do it for fun though
timmy: oh, my wttygrrl, you must try...
WttyGrrl: i must
WttyGrrl: i will
WttyGrrl: you will with difficulty?
WttyGrrl: duo? or trio?
WttyGrrl: but who?
timmy: you could do it if you think with your mind
WttyGrrl: you too...or both
timmy: without lifting your pinky
WttyGrrl: lol..shit
timmy: durn tootin'

so that was it...an E ...or lack of it

that’s what was missing.

did you know?

had my first acl post-op PT today
ouch.
my PT is a big fan of pain.
naturally, i am not...
so, i'm aching

although, i’m loving my morphia,
but i itch…lord, do I itch
opium brings out my villains ...and that's a bad thing

probably why i don’t do too much opium products
not a fan of the itching...
(nor the villains in my mind)

but i'm writing...
hi...kubla khan? a big opium trip

but it's a pain… lifting my damn shank (flank), foot and thigh
up and down...up and down

That was tough, you said.

Shall I try it again?

You now know what’s going on, right?

It’s obvious.

Painfully obvious, actually

Now that you know what’s what.

Isn’t it?

No?

And I’m doing it again. Holy cow.

I was told A Void was funny looking

Hmmm…not so much..

Most don’t catch it…

What’s missing, you say, as though you don’t know

Wow…it’s so basic and straightforward

And I’m not doing a good job of it

Just short words strung along

Thoughts. Actions. What a drag.

Not long now.

No fuss, no muss.

Could I stop with this

Can I do this for a day? A month?

Would anybody know?

Would anybody particularly want to?

My words do not contain it.

My blog is just a blog.

You might find it by looking…

Not by sounding it out.

But, it will hit you.

Do you play with words?

Can you psych out what’s missing?

It’s your call.

Scan? If you must.

Spot? Not in my words.

Study? As much as you want…you still won’t find it.

How will you know?

(sing along….)

I wish I could assist you

I’m trying.

Truly.

now i’m just playing with you. sorry. i’m having too much fun.
oh happy day.

in this blog...
do you know?

an adaptation from, A Void also known as, La Disparition

Today, by radio, and also on giant billboards, a rabbi, an admiral notorious for his links to masonry, a trio of cardinals, a trio, too, of insignificant politicians (bought and paid for by a rich and corrupt Anglo-Canadian banking corporation), inform us all of how our country now risks dying of starvation.

still no? i'll go on...

a rumor, that's my initial thought as i switch off my radio, a rumor or possibly a hoax. propaganda, i murmur - as though just by saying so, i might allay my doubts - typical politician's propaganda. but public opinion gradually absorbs it as fact. Individuals start strutting around with stout clubs. (sticks?)

"Food. Glorious food" is a common cry (occasionally sung to Bart's music), with ordinary hard-working folk harassing officials, both local and national, and cursing capitalists and captains of industry. Cops shrink from going out on night shift. In Boston, a mob storms a municipal building. In Plymouth ruffians rob a hangar full of foodstuffs, pillaging tons of tuna fish, milk and cocoa...also a vast quantity of corn - all of it, alas, totally unfit for human consumption.

anybody?

it's most common...

didn't sleep well last night
but then again, i didn't take the morphine
i fear addition more than i fear pain
strange, isn't it

and i'm no big fan of pain, believe me

i'm flexing the knee like a fiend
it didn't really hurt until i hit 80 degrees
and even this was only uncomfortable
and i get up and walk around the house every hour
putting weight on it and trying to bend the leg
using a normal walking motion

which is laughable, as i don't have anything
resembling a normal walking motion normally

J&J were very dear to check on me all weekend
even as they were enjoying an incredible Vermont getaway

one of the worst things about acl surgery
is that i am forced to sleep on my back
*with my leg in a constant motion machine*
it kills me to sleep on my back
i've never been able to do it
without complaining
and i sure as hell ain't gonna start now

well, i made it home from the hospital
surgery went fine
except i woke up in the middle of it
and overheard the surgeon ask for a saw
i looked around and said, *hello?*

finally the anesthesiologist peered over me
and said, *oh, would you like to be sleeping?*

is that a chainsaw in the background?

the next thing i woke up in recovery
with 3 people trying to get my brace on

next memory...nurse leaning over me
asking me a question that i neither heard
nor answered nor remembered

i slept with the lights on all night
because i don't care for the dark
gina left around 10pm even though the nurse
told us staying over is against hospital policy
she sure as hell wasn't going to tell anybody
they had to leave

but alas, gina had to get home to the boys
and i had morphine induced sleep to enjoy,
my completely numb lower extremities to contemplate,
and my new walking cane to break in
i was swamped

surgery is scheduled for 9am
gina said she'd get here around 8am.
i haven't eaten anything since yesterday
nor have i had anything to drink.

to sum up...

i'm cranky
scared
hungry
and thirsty

but first, there are 2 blogs I find VERY funny:

tequila mockingbird
and
little yellow different

so i'm watching Lost
when a few things occur to me:

1. the dog has on a red leash.
earlier in the season the leash wasn't it blue?
but that's not the point..
the dog is STILL on his lead...
what, there are leash laws on the island?

2. hurley walks by listening to headphones
now..correct me if i'm wrong..but it's been a month
and he's still got batteries?
mine last about 4 songs not 4 weeks
and how many people carry tons of extra batteries with them
on a plane...they are heavy and you just buy more.
moreover, if there were THAT many batteries on the plane
why couldn't MacGyver, er..Sayid create some
device with the radio whose battery was almost dead
and redirect power to the AA/AAA battery supply,
something, something, blah blah
perhaps he needed a potato
or a paper clip

3. how does tom cruises' cousin go from having the strength
to throw grown men about, to someone who loses power
in the rain? hmmm. perhaps his batteries ran out?
and why would Claire run from him?....
how the hell would she know who he was?

more importantly, why don't i have multiple red wigs
like sydney in the alias opener?
two words:
meow.

sometimes i miss being involved with
the restaurants
the chaos of the kitchen
the prep workers
chopping, chopping, and chopping
the sauces that simmer all day
family dinner at 4:30 where
the chef goes over the menu
and the rag-tag group that
makes up a restaurant staff
eats a meal together
before going off to their stations
and gets really cranky with each other

and the whole things starts all over
the next day

by the by...if you get a chance
watch the movie:

Mostly Martha

my dear friend sadie rose
just launched her new clothing line

*do you like my hats*

she is part of the most amazing family
i have the privilege to know
and sing and dance with
and dogsit for while building very large fires with
and discuss the significance to Froot Loops in modern society
(or..just my little part of modern society)
and play soccer with

gosh...i'm gushing.

so buy a hat now, because:
a) in a few years you'll be able to say you own a sadie rose original and,
b) in a few years you won't be able to afford a sadie rose original

let's see...we've got last year's
SuperBowl championship

the World Series championship

THIS year's SuperBowl championship

and BU/BC hockey

the new mecca is upon us.
and i shall make my pilgrimage.

was supposed to go to the theatre last night
with Christiane
but the stomach bug
reminded me that perhaps i should
take a raincheck

what was i thinking?

gina went out this morning
to get bagels
and brought me breakfast in bed
i was so happy.
chomp. chomp. chomp.

today was *sit down and do a budget* day
after a few hours
we decided that we were doing the right things
but perhaps amanda should not buy
any more ooops paint
from home depot.

i am an interviewing fool.
went to Brandeis yesterday to find out about the
Associate Director of Development job

had Babson today for a Marketing Manager
in Development job.

Wellesley called to see if I would come in
Tuesday or Thursday for a Program Coordinator job

pity that i live in NH...
because the commute to Boston
might be a bear
(and where would the boys play?)

gina and i met ex-coworker and friend liz and her fabulous irish friend nula
last night at Bonfire for drinks.
it was SO good to see liz!
and i love nula...she is so the friend
who should come along
when friends bring friends along.

i love that i know interesting people
who also know interesting people.
more importantly, i love that we aren't in eighth grade anymore.
it's so nice to get together with people and have
insightful conversations.
astute, canny, clever, discerning, discriminating, incisive, ingenious, intense, intuitive, judicious, keen, observant, penetrating, perspicacious, piercing, quick-witted, sensitive, sharp, smart, subtle conversations.

and then...there are the cable car's at Bonfire
and the fact that the bartender with long, sassy, locks
kept flirting with gina
giving her drinks to try
topping off her drinks
claiming the kitchen messed up an order, and asking if we wanted it

and me with my sassy haircut...

drove down to boston today.
had a haircut appointment at Louies, Boston
mario russo's salon...
mario was there. he looked at my hair.
at least he didn't sneer when i was looking.

my regular person, lori, is on maternity leave.
i LOVE what she has done with my hair.
but it's been too long, and i've got 2 job interviews
tomorrow...so i really cannot wait

wendy got out the straight razor
cut in...gave me *wisps*
but more importantly, brought my curl back.
some mousse, some gel, and a nod from mario
and i was feeling spry

tuesday: feb 01
lord help me...being sick sucks.
two steps forward
one step closer to the bathroom.

Just read the Dummer Academy
has finally votes to change their name.
I'm sure both brilliant alumni are grateful.