i am sitting on the couch
with joe, julia, toemas & henri
j, j, and i all on our laptops
the boys snoring in between us
gina making a pecan dessert
fireplace roaring
everybody nappy and warm

julia trying to figure out
where she'd like to honeymoon
with gina and me.
so far she favors
greece and new zealand,

my giving up sugar starts in 4 hours
and i still have 2 krispy kreme donuts to eat
i don't think it's going to happen
i'm trying to get myself psyched up
but i just don't want another donut
i must remember this feeling
because in 48 hours i'm going to be jonesing
and it's not going to be pretty

january - unemployed (laid off from banta)
end of march - car accident on my first day at new job (conversent)
may - brought henri, the cavalier king charles spaniel, home
july - a bad month....no question
august - buy house in NH
september - tomas, the vizsla came to the house
october - got job at PSU
december - got engaged

oh, and decided to not eat sugar a couple of times in 2004
the renewal of the decision, and attempt therein, shall
commence again january 2005,
with notable exceptions being taken for various birthdays,
holidays and my wedding

to celebrate the giving up of sugar in 2005
i bought a dozen krispy kreme chocolate frosted
white kreme filled donuts yesterday
i've eaten six as of today
(we aren't even going to mention the 3 bars of terrone)

happy sigh.

i fed the dogs the leftover from the fridge
instead of just throwing them away

i wasn't finished reading an article in the utne reader
while i was at PT, so i told my pt that i was taking it
home to finish it. that was in 2001. (kidding, it was a week ago)

i let the big dog drink from the toilet.
i figure if he doesn't care, why should i

i've lost the freakin' garage door opener
and i can't get the durn thing to close

i've eaten 4 krispy kreme donuts in an hour
i feel like crap
yet, strangely wide-eyed
and hyper
with a tinge of a headache
compounded by my lack of integrity

according to winston churchill,

Glance at the vermouth bottle briefly
while pouring the juniper distillate freely.

good man, that winston

and i shall again quote mental floss
when i tell you

James Bond does not drink martinis - technically
a martini contains only GIN, vermouth, and an olive.
Bond's vodka martinis would be the equivalent of
racing in the Tour de France
on a bike with a banana seat

(hmmm..that was the mental floss anology,
i think i can do better)

sing with me..
all together now...

LOVE IS IN THE AIR...
Love is in the air
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh

(that's the chorus by the way...
and it's repeated 4x)

and pk is having a boy!
holy bat guts.

everybody polka!
no..wait...we were singing, weren't we..

love is in the air, oh oh oh

i rec'd all the back issues of Mental Floss
as a christmas present

i'll be curled up in a ball reading
should anyone need me

do be a dear and pass the honey roasted cashews....

i was sitting on the couch
awaiting the opening of the christmas presents
when gina came over and gave me a beautiful card
then presented me with an engagement ring
and asked me to marry her

blink. blink.

cry.

within an hour we'd come up with
a guest list - 200 friends and family
a location - the old red mill in wilton (i hope)
a date - columbus day weekend 2005
a ceremony - celtic handfasting followed by an apache prayer
a caterer - abby's brother to do a pig pull....oh, and fried okra
a dj
a photographer

and a partridge in a pear tree

your invitation will be forthcoming.
please mark your calendar.

ok...time for everyone to update
their links to the blog
the new link should be:

www.wttygrrl.com/blog

seriously.
create a new book mark.
now, please.

so today i was supposed to have 2 interviews
but the second one cancelled when they found out
i was going to the first one
as they wanted to offer me a no benefits temp job for less pay
and wanted me to tell them TODAY that i would take it
even though the job wouldn't start until later in january
and the first job (which would be a better job anyway)
isn't even making a decision on the next interviews until
next year (which is to say after the holidays)

everyone still on the same page here?

this job thing sure is funny.

and on a strange tangent,
since the second interview was in boston
i was going to put the washer and dryer
in the back of the truck and bring them to the loft
except a) the washer was too heavy to move
but b) i'm not going to boston as the interview was cancelled
and c) i need to now figure out how to get the damn washer to boston
d) for the record, the dryer is already in the truck, awaiting transport to southie
e) all the students have already gone home for winter break so i can't bribe some 19 yr old to haul a washer down the stairs and into the back of the lexus. Oh, the humanity.

also, does anyone think $2600 is expensive to install a woodstove?
labour and parts....8 in double wall...etc.
not including the stove, which is $700.
i'm feeling a bit peckish about it.

as opposed to feeling puckish....

when i was a wee lass
i wanted a bird
not sure why
but i imagine i liked the idea of a bird liking me
perhaps it was a snow white complex
or the bird on Barretta

anyway, there were tons of birds in arkansas
and my father said to me,
the way to catch a bird
is to put salt on its tail

so off i'd go
with a box of morton's salt
throwing it at birds
trying to get the salt on their tails
so i could catch one

i wasn't until i was thirtysomething
that i discovered this was an old wives tale..
if you can sneak up behind a bird
and sprinkle salt on it's tail
you can capture it

and here i thought i just had bad aim
throwing salt.
at birds.
and their tails.

ok folks...it's 3 degrees outside
as in THREE degrees
that's freakin' cold

and i am SO sucked into clean sweep.

anyone know how to build a hearth?
there's a new stove coming in january
and i need to get a hearth in.

wah-hooey

why is it....

that when people go to the bathroom they lift up their heels
so their weight is on their toes.
is it not possible to poop with both feet firmly planted on the floor?
is it that we're all trying to get a running start?

the other day I went to the
university wide faculty staff holiday party.
there was the promise of shrimp
(lies, all lies)
and the opportunity for me to
meet and greet the president
and show him the error of his ways
by not hiring me,
or firing the entire HR dept

all in 4 seconds

i'd been practicing my speech for weeks.
it took me days to get my outfit just right.
conservative with a hint of flare and holiday spirit
therefore, I wore the custom navy suit
with a lovely Eileen Fisher magenta taffeta shirt
with just the collar showing and wee bit of the cuff
as the jacket remained buttoned the entire time
no need to appear desperate

so after making the loop looking for shrimp
I headed over to the president for an introduction.
there was a cluster of well wishers
hangers-on, and groupies
as with any university president or rock star
I stand patiently
arms at my side
and await my turn to dazzle and impress.

my turn came!
I stick my hand out,
comment on what an honour it is...
he puts his hand out ...
past me
and shakes the hand of the fellow behind me
glances my way and says to no one in particular,
Felize Navidad
and walks away.

I turned to those next to me and said,
*I guess this means there will be
no open mouth kisses.*

i'm waiting or the holiday spirit
to overtake me.

perhaps the sooper dooper reindeer pooper
will help

as many of you know
i have a long and glorious
love affair with Froot Loops

but now...GM comes out with
75% less sugar
made with Splenda
Trix

so they're not Froot Loops
with marshmallows.

meh.

i'm in love
and so are my sugar levels

horoscope alert...and this is getting scary,

Ready or not, a new phase of your career is beginning, and you can't afford to space out. You see what's possible if you're strong and brave enough to try for it. The warnings of others are important, but your own gut has the final say. Resist the temptation to cry wolf once too often -- you may be taxing people and situations that are already strained. A swarm of old ghosts are snapping at your heels, driving you at a brisk pace. Despite your haste, move along in short, careful steps. Grit your teeth and press onward.

teeth gritted,
i press onward,
and upward
while doing light yoga
naturally

and my horoscope:
Have you been having trouble sleeping? Exhaustion is your constant companion today. Staring wide-eyed at the clock in the middle of the night is no fun and does a real number on your attitude. If you're keyed up over personal issues that are robbing you of sleep, perhaps it's time to resolve them if you can. If you're worrying about situations beyond your control, you may want to try some light yoga or meditation before turning out the night light.

light yoga?
as opposed to heavy?
does light yoga have less calories?
don't they realize i haven't been sleeping
(for about 18 years for those counting)
i have no idea what light yoga is
and my mind is mush

got the christmas tree today
white lights & ruby glass balls,
not red thankyouverymuch,
and some glass soccer and basketball
ornaments thrown in for good measure.
who knows where the tree skirt went.

how lame is it that i spend my
Saturday nights
either at Wal-Mark
or Home Depot.

we do not need to discuss the
*ooops* paint.
see reference to the dead horse
and beating it.
but honestly,
you'd think i already had all the stuff
i need.
or want.
or could ever use.
but NOOOOO.
i always find more.
more.
more.
and cheaper!

god help me.

.....to interview we go.

except that it isn't really an interview.
it's a placement service.
not really a headhunter
since they charge ME to find me a job.
and i think...hmmm...what if i just
paid myself $4K
and wrote it off on my taxes.
and gave my self a good talking to
and redid my resume so that it *sold* me
and asked myers-briggs if,
as an ENTJ,
i should really be seeking gainful employment,
or if i should just rely on my rakish good looks
to pay the mortgage.

much to ponder

i would like an old vespa.
old perhaps isn't the right word.
vintage.
that's what i'm talking about.
a vintage vespa.
and perhaps a working knowledge
of italian.

eye-talian

i'm having a rough day
and i didn't win the 171M
powerball lottery
but then again, i didn't play

if you aren't there...
you ain't nowhere
(as the poets say)
and no, i don't know which poets
i'm making it up as i go along

http://www.podcastalley.com/
http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/12/08/podcasting/index.html
http://www.evilgeniuschronicles.org/

and the How To

...and me without a good shovel
i do believe i need to get a good shovel
and perhaps a ladder
but the latter and the shovel are for different purposes
lest you think i was going to be shovelling from a ladder
i was merely mentioning that i should get a ladder

everybody clear on that?

i think i may need to make cinnamon rolls
mom used to make them at christmastime
and it always reminded me of my grandmother
i haven't made them in years and years

i didn't have a goal for dec 2004
so i guess i have one more goal

1. create and keep up with my website

look for the NEW & exciting webstie
coming to a computer near you

www.wttygrrl.com

taking my cue from Julia
i decided to list 12 things i'd like to do
in 2005 (one for each month)

1. Habitat for Humanity
2. go to New Zealand
3. plant a garden
4. finish 2 new quilts
5. build a breakfast nook
6. stain the deck and fence
7. finish 1 knitting project
8. read 100 books
9. can win the lottery be a goal?
10. play squash once a week (this is along the lines of work out regularly)
11. finish 125 pages of a writing project AND send it out!
12. give up sugar...again

whew.
i'd better get started

came home yesterday and the back door was locked.
how long have i lived in nh?
i never lock my doors.
which is strange since i've always locked my doors.
growing up in arkansas, we always locked our doors
and it's not really living in nh that has stopped me
from locking my doors....
really, locks only keep out the honest
but the 60lb vizsla, now HE's a reason i don't lock my doors
nobody would get 2 feet past the gate

but i digress

yesterday my back door was locked.
LOCKED.
and i thought, jhchrist, who has been here
and who comes in and then locks the door behind them?

i don't even have keys to the house.
i mean i do.
i think.
i must. they came with the house.
i just don't know where they are.

no matter, i went through the doggie door.
now THAT was an experience.
and the dogs didn't know what to think.
it didn't look like anyone had been there
so i guess the dogs locked it when i left
perhaps they'd wanted to have some private time
and raid the whisky while watching porn on demand

according to the boston globe:

You get a welcome breather from the nonstop action today. You don't know whether you're coming or going, but that's not the least of it. You see the best and worst sides of the people in your life, adding to your confusion about what to do. Following an impulse saves the day, although a more confusing issue remains obscured. It might be best to avoid making any major decision until this fog lifts.

ok...how does one follow an impulse
or anything else for that matter
in the fog?
or perhaps i'm just suppose
wait for the drugs to kick in
and lift the fog
hmmm...

it may be the first of december
but it's never too early (or late)
to put up the christmas list

1. a job
2. a really great job
3. an ivory or chocolate ribbed turtleneck
4. jeans that fit
5. the sassy orange blazer that Pat Summit wears (i don't need the skirt)
6. i'm kidding about #5
7. for the vizsla to stop peeing on the bed
8. warm socks
9. new sheets for the bed, if i can't have #7
10. health insurance. ideally this would come with either #1 or #2
11. a winning lottery ticket
12. chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven

all sung to the tune
On the First Day of Christmas....