well...it has come down from above
that i am not going to be considered
for the annual fund job at plymouth state
because i don't meet the minimum qualifications

and the fact that i'm currently doing the job
and exceeded the goals
and expectations
means nothing

but hey, good luck & thanks for all your hard work.

i'll be at home looking for jobs
if anybody needs me
oh wait...there aren't any jobs here

good thing i have my rakish good looks

Thanksgiving is about a lot of things....
but mainly it's about marathon viewings of
important reality television shows

one year i watched every Real World - San Francisco
(still the best one)
the next year was Road Rules
(who even knows what season)
and this year was about 18 hours of
Trading Spaces and Clean Sweep

so tonight in a fit of inspiration
i haven't seen since the carter administration
i primed the walls in the kitchen and living room

i believe i'm now
...ready for some FOOTBALL

i'm walking around the outer rim of Target aisles
where the clearance sections hide
and am pawing through stuff that i don't need
but at up to 75% off, can't live without
when i see Stacie J. from the apprentice II
smiling up at me from a clairol hair colouring kit

i turn to gina and say...
omg, it's stacie j.
and gina says, Who?
nevermind.
the point of this story is
i am forced to rush home and look up stacie j.
and confirm that it really is her on the package

lo, and behold...it IS
i find site after site of her *official* bio
the one obviously supplied by the friendly
reality tv people and it talks about her
work as a model...
hello! did you see her hair?
do you think clairol is cringing?

and then i read that ms. j owns a Subway in harlem.
her tag on the apprentice was *restaurateur*
Subway is not a restaurant!
Rialto at the Charles Hotel in Cambridge is a restaurant,
L'Atelier de Joel Robuchon, Rue de Montalembert in Paris is a restaurant
subway...for i now refuse to capitalize it...is a...a...
franchise

bah.

so it's saturday night
and i'm back at home depot
looking at $5 ooops paint
because 16 gallons of various shades
of cranberry just isn't enough
when i discover the deck stain!
holy bat guts...i can stain the deck
then the guy tells me it really needs to
be over 50 degrees for 24 hours to stain outside
well nuts...that means there will be no
staining in NH until june
but i really should buy enough stain
just in case there is a warm spell

i get home and realize...
i have a fence to stain as well
i need more stain!

the alarm went off at 5AM
out of the house by 5:18
(or thereabouts)

at the home depot in concord just after 6AM
but wait...home depot always opens at 6am
no matter
it was buy, buy, buy

no place to park at target
tjmaxx didn't put up any signs
that they were open
but i dodged in anyway
oh, to have $, $, $...
i'd buy every Tahari cashmere ribbed
turtleneck in sight
or at least the ones that look good on me

back home by 9:30AM
and ready to build the bed

did i mention the $5 ooops paint
obsession?

every Thanksgiving I try to remember
all the other Thanksgiving's I've enjoyed
and the people I've shared them with...

from... my parents who didn't like turkey...or me for that matter
...to piling into a rented car freshman year and going down
to Allentown with Jason, Stephanie, Renee & Natalie
freezing in the attic, and not putting oil in the car
and walking on the PA Turnpike after the car died
...to college orphans' t-day with everybody
who didn't travel home for the holiday
(and the *scream* blessing from betsy)
...to Thanksgiving with Michela Larson
so THAT's how turkey supposed to taste
...to fried turkey with Sally at Janice & Bud's
...to a braised duck with Gina, Henri and Toemas
in the house in NH, roaring fire and 65 degree weather

to all the wonderful friends who have become my family
i thank you for being in my life

it was touch and go there for awhile there, eh

-amanda

tis the night before Thanksgiving
and all through the house
only sauces were stirring
(laptops have no mouse)

i, like my father before me,
do not care for turkey.
so the duck is marinating
the holiday pop tarts are
in the cupboard
and not a vegetable in sight.

so it seems that American Express is going to
*sell* 9 BMW's on 29 November
for $5,000/each.
one merely has to be one of the first three to click
the *I want it* button
at 12PM, 4PM and 9PM Eastern Time

i can't imagine how the computer
will *decide* who won....

I love Maria on the Apprentice
and no, we are not going to discuss
the fact that I’m even watching the Apprentice

let’s just talk about Maria, shall we?

Why is she so striking?
I love her hair.
Stark. Singular. Salient.
She is one of the very few women
who looks stunning with such short hair.

If I cut my hair like that
I’d just look like a dyke with a crew cut…
(Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

Her clothes…meh..a bit spangly...

And Ivana grew up in Arkansas & lives in Boston.
Discuss.

speaking of going to home depot on a saturday night...

to say nothing of the flannel lined canvas shirt
(but in blue, to match my eyes)

it's amazing how one can get sucked into
the *returned* paint
for $5 gallon

who knew i needed 3 gallons of
Ralph Lauren Claret
replete with the deep base primer

and i know RL paint sucks
but at $5/gallon
perhaps i'll just paint my sassy firewood holder

repeatedly

i am woman...hear me roar.

while wearing tan cords
(without the jcrew embroidered bumble bees
as they can diminish the *look*)
a flannel lined canvas shirt
and steel toed clogs

i went to home depot
on a saturday night
bought wood
and MADE a holder for my firewood

two words:
coarse drywall screws

total cost: $18.46

well, i've lost my homeowners insurance in NH
due to a claim involving a skittish 4 yr old vizsla
and an 18 yr old college student
one of whom required stitches
and it wasn't Toemas

If asked,
"Do you have any questions?"

I inevitably say,
"What's the capital of Bolivia?"

this seems to stump most people
especially when I am on a job interview.
even if I'm dressed in a conservative suit
and wearing sensible shoes.

and just so we know...there are 2 answers acceptable:

Sucre - the historic & judicial capital (seat of judiciary)
LaPaz - the seat of government & administrative capital

and it's the Republic of Bolivia

in case you wondered.

which reminded me of a story from childhood.
we were all at the denver zoo.
i was 4. my sister was 6.
she was wearing a little dress with sunflowers sewn along the hem.

we'd gone to the petting zoo
and were each given an ice cream cone
filled with goat chow to feed to the goats.
my sister was holding the cone a bit close to the
sunflowers on her dress,
naturally the goat felt compelled to nibble the sunflowers;
as sunflowers, even cloth sunflowers, are more appealing
than goat chow to a goat on it's 400th straight day
of goat chow and ice cream cones

my mother, seeing this goat attempting to devour her eldest child
lept over the barrier
and with a shout of, "die, spawn of satan"*
bodily removed the goat from my sister
and my sister from the goat

my mother was then kindly asked to unhand the goat
and leave
immediately

*ok..she might not have really shouted spawn of satan

i was left wondering if it would be okay for me to eat the
remains of the ice cream cone

is there anything better than
ritz crackers with peanut butter
and a fountain coke

the dryness on the roof of your mouth
the burn of the coke
the melt of the ritz

when i was a wee girl
gregson would make me ritz crackers
with peanut butter
and *put a hat on top*
i would smoosh it
and lick the pb around the edges

tried that once with oreos
but they don't smoosh as well

if you don't have ritz crackers
regular cheez-it do make a lovely substitute

i find it interesting that it snowed up to 8" in boston
the other day
but here in scenic NH, i got NO SNOW
hmmm...methinks there is mischief afoot

have i mentioned that i dislike clocks that tick?
makes me nuts.
i have one in my office and it's driving me batty.
but i dare not move it
lest the union grieve it
and i should find myself in even more hot water

pooh, said rabbit to pooh.

....it's been too long
i haven't felt like blogging
but now...i'm a blogging fool.

not so much worried about
bourbon
whisky
scotch
french goat cheese
or the perfect cigar to match

i'm trying to live simply

warm flannel sheets
thick socks
roaring fire in the stove
(not the kitchen stove, mind you....crikey)