the other day I went to the
university wide faculty staff holiday party.
there was the promise of shrimp
(lies, all lies)
and the opportunity for me to
meet and greet the president
and show him the error of his ways
by not hiring me,
or firing the entire HR dept

all in 4 seconds

i'd been practicing my speech for weeks.
it took me days to get my outfit just right.
conservative with a hint of flare and holiday spirit
therefore, I wore the custom navy suit
with a lovely Eileen Fisher magenta taffeta shirt
with just the collar showing and wee bit of the cuff
as the jacket remained buttoned the entire time
no need to appear desperate

so after making the loop looking for shrimp
I headed over to the president for an introduction.
there was a cluster of well wishers
hangers-on, and groupies
as with any university president or rock star
I stand patiently
arms at my side
and await my turn to dazzle and impress.

my turn came!
I stick my hand out,
comment on what an honour it is...
he puts his hand out ...
past me
and shakes the hand of the fellow behind me
glances my way and says to no one in particular,
Felize Navidad
and walks away.

I turned to those next to me and said,
*I guess this means there will be
no open mouth kisses.*